🎵Beethoven’s Journals: Letters, Conversation Books, and Musical Notes

Ludwig van Beethoven by C Schloesser

Journaling is ink on paper—a quiet, solitary act. Mostly we think of it as writing, but sometimes it is a sketch, a leaf placed between leaves, a shoe box of photos and a wedding invitation discoloured by age. Ludwig Beethoven was a natural journaler who recorded and examined his life in letters (sent and unsent), notebooks of notes, and coversation books where he communicated with visitors after he became deaf.

Letter by Ludwig von Beethoven, 1817 1865 by Frederick George Netherclift

📜 1. Journaling in Letters

Beethoven wrote frank and touching letters to friends and brothers to whom he confessed his struggle while he lost his hearing.

They read very much like journals and are often reflective:

I must confess that I lead a miserable life. For almost two years I have ceased to attend any social functions, just because I find it impossible to say to people: I am deaf.

Often they strike a rousing note:

I will seize fate by the throat; it shall certainly never wholly overcome me.

But if you are thinking even these frank admissions were the whole story and he held something back, you are right. Because among his papers wer unsent letters full of the stuff you just don't share because it is unfair to keep dumping, or their response isn't right, or you don't want to admit it.

Enjoying the release of emotions into words Beethoven wrote unsent letters. His most famous one is the Heiligenstadt Testament.

Where he rants:

O you men who think or say that I am malevolent, stubborn, or misanthropic, how greatly do you wrong me. You do not know the secret cause which makes me seem that way to you.

And observes:

It was impossible for me to say to people: Speak louder, shout, for I am deaf.

And reflects:

Born with an ardent and lively temperament, even susceptible to the diversions of society, I was compelled early to isolate myself, to live in loneliness.

And prays:

Divine one, thou seest my inmost soul, thou knowest that therein dwells the love of mankind and the desire to do good.

And finds himself wrestling with the best and worst of him in his darkest moment.

I was on the point of ending my life—it was only my art that held me back. Ah, it seemed impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt called upon to produce.

Beethoven’s letters were more than just correspondence—they were spaces of emotional release and clarity. In moments of despair, frustration, or hope, he wrote to friends, patrons, family members, and even to just the page itself, not always to be heard but simply to express.

💡 Journaling Prompt: Write an unsent letter to someone—real or imagined—about something you've been carrying silently. Begin with the words, "I need you to know..."

💬 2. Conversation Books: Dialogues on Paper

As Beethoven's deafness progressed, he began to rely on conversation books— small notebooks where visitors would write down their questions, thoughts, or responses for him to read. Beethoven would either reply verbally or jot down his own notes in the margins.

These conversation books became more than just practical tools; they evolved into spaces for reflection and raw honesty. In them, Beethoven would sometimes drift from the conversation into personal musings, capturing stray thoughts and fleeting emotions.

Altogether the conversation books form a ship's log of his life and expressed thoughts.

Some of his most thought provoking statements come from them, drawn out of him in conversation:

You ask me where I get my ideas. That I cannot tell you with certainty; they come unsummoned, directly, indirectly – I could seize them with my hands.

What I have in my heart must come out; that is why I compose.

There ought to be something in the world to compensate us for all its evils, and perhaps it is music.

These brief notes have the natural tone of conversation—unfiltered, immediate, and deeply human. Even the tone-deaf can hear Beethoven's voice in them, his intensity, his passion, and his vulnerability.

💡 Journaling Prompt: Imagine having a written conversation with someone you trust. Write their side of the conversation as if they were asking you gentle questions. Then, respond as honestly as you can.

Beethoven's sketchbook

🎼 3. Musical Notebooks

Beethoven carried a notebook where he sketched fragments of melodies, harmonic ideas, and scribbled notations. These weren’t polished compositions—they were raw emotional landscapes, scratched out in hurried ink.

But these notebooks don't just contain music, they hold snippets of thought: in one he comments the mass will be done soon, referring to the Mass in C major, commissioned by Prince Nikolaus II. (A grossly optimistic estimate as it turned out, the mass was only completed just in time for its premiere.) Often at the back he would paste advertisements for the piece he'd worked on.

Journaling doesn’t have to be made of words. A sketch, a melody,  a pasted ticket stub can hold just as much emotional weight as a perfectly crafted sentence.

💡 Journaling Prompt: Open your journal to a blank page. Without words, express how you feel right now—through doodles, shapes, lines, or symbols.

💬 Unfinished Conversations

Ludwig van Beethoven’s sketches for the Scherzo and Adante from “Archduke” Trio, op. 97; second and third movements.

New York Public Library Digital Collections

The most honest of Beethoven’s letters remained unsent. His sketchbooks are filled with ideas that were never taken up again. His 10th symphony remained unfinished. And yet, these fragments still speak.

There’s something deeply comforting in this—the reminder that not everything we write has to be complete. Journaling, like composing, isn’t about creating something polished every time; it’s about showing up and leaving a trace.

💡 Journaling Insight: Not every journal entry needs to make sense. Let your thoughts stutter, pause, and pick up again—like Beethoven’s pen, like your own voice.

✍️ Lessons from Beethoven’s Journals

• Letters can be journals: Writing to someone—even if you never send it—can unlock clarity and healing.

• Journaling doesn’t need to look one way: It can be words, sketches, letters, or even music.

• Fragments are enough: A half-finished thought, a raw note, or an imperfect melody still holds meaning. Even pauses are part of the music.

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Write. Reflect. Transform.

👉 Take a moment today to write—or sketch—something imperfect, unfinished, and true.